La Douleur Exquise. Definition:
: The heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can’t have :
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I couldn’t think of a creative title for this.
I have had a recent revelation (when I say recent I mean in the past 24 hours) about how I am not intentional enough in my life.
It’s totally crazy. The Bible continually tells us to seek. When you seek for something, you are intentionally looking for it. You already have something set in your mind and now you are out to find it. It isn’t something you just stumble upon, or something that just suddenly happens with no effort on your part, it requires purpose. It is something that is worth looking for. God tells us to seek things like righteousness, the things that are above, holiness, the Kingdom of God, we are to seek Jesus himself.
In my own life, I have not been intentional enough in how I pray, in how I interact with others and see people, in how I worship…I need to change my mind-set and I need to change what my heart longs for and searches after. There are billions of people in the world that are lost, there are so many things that God is trying to teach me..but am I looking for it? Or am I just expecting that I can go on my day to day life and it’s literally going to punch me in the face?
I am ready. I am so ready to turn my passion into action and get intentional about what God wants me to do.
Colossians 3:1 If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.
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He…
makes it okay. better than okay.
He takes the messed up. the filthy. the anger. the lies. the sadness. the fear. the weariness. the uncertainty. the pain. the desperate. the want. the failures. the broken heart. the vulnerability. the wrong direction. the hopeless. the strife. the hard heartened. the loneliness. the ignorance. the judgement. the darkness. the brokenness.
and because of who He is…
He makes it beautiful.
In spite of all of the things that go on in this topsy-turvy world…in spite of all my sin…His mercies are new every morning.
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;his mercies never come to an end they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. -
"Do justly. Love mercy. Walk humbly with your God. This is enough."John Adams
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:)
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Because sometimes that mountain you’ve been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you’ve been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
And when you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem so small -
Those kind of nights.
I have had quite a bit on my heart this evening. God&I have been having a very intense talk. You know those kind of talks where you are like saying the same things over and over in your mind and it’s literally this never ending circle? I get stressed out over the silliest things.
God is so faithful though. I’m just talking and talking and talking and worrying about all of these things and He’s all like:
Michaela! I got it! Seriously I know what you are going through and I am BIGGER than that, so just trust me okay? Let me take care of it in the way I see fit. Love you!
And now I’m all like oh wow I guess you’re right. Sorry I didn’t realize this 3 hours ago but thanks for still listening! God is awesome. I’m so glad to know Him and to know that even when I make mistakes, He will still carry me. How sweet it is.
